Being Nice is Destroying Your Romantic Relationship

Being nice is destroying your romantic relationship

Most people think that you have to be nice to keep your relationship going. They don’t want to cause disharmony or deal with their partner’s anger or annoyance.


Here’s the truth – being nice, at the expense of not speaking your needs, is actually killing your relationship. Worrying about disrupting peace and remaining quiet does not help.




...the more you don't express your needs, the more resentful you get. -padma ali


Because, the more you don’t express your needs, the more resentful you get. And we all know what happens when resentment builds. It becomes bigger and bigger until, one day, you explode!


Can you see how this can cause damage in your relationship and also cause it to die in the process. 


So, what can you do instead? 




3 Ways to Prevent Damage in Your Relationship

First, understand why and work with it.
It’s vital you understand your beliefs of why you hold back. This is one of the key principals in my work with my clients and students in my programs. When you uncover your stories of why you’re holding back, you can begin to work with it. More often than not, you will see that these are beliefs that are outdated from past experiences in childhood or from your own past relationships. 


Once you change those beliefs, you can start to express them


Now, here’s the second thing, are you ready? 



Communicate clearly.
Effective communication is so important for your relationship. Most people have never been taught the right way to communicate with their partner. Come and join me for my free 12-day bootcamp where I’ll be talking about the five skills you can use to improve your romantic relationship. The doors open June 15th so make sure you get on the waitlist now!


...get off the reaction train and get on the curiosity train. -padma ali


Lastly, pay attention to the process.
Have you ever been curious about why your partner hasn’t heard you? What’s going on with them, what stops them from listening to you? I call these the “process” questions. Step back from what you’re saying to your partner and start to look at what is actually going on between you. This allows you to see what’s happening so you can start to move the relationship in the right direction. If you’re like most people, you probably don’t even know how to ask those questions. All you know is that you don’t like something your partner is doing or not doing. So, my invitation is get off the reaction train and get on the curiosity train. You will learn a lot about your partner in the process



Don’t forget to join my bootcamp. It’s free! During the bootcamp, you will receive a 5-part video training on improving your romantic relationship. This information is so valuable and you really don’t want to miss this! Think about what you’ll lose by not joining! 





Leave a Reply